Our colleague Solicitor Sunny Rafaeli, and couple’s psychotherapist, Yanni Spiro of Central London Relationship Therapy (CLRT) look at how support through divorce can help couple’s navigate the emotional trauma of such a life change.
Separation and divorce can be one of the most challenging periods in a person’s life. As a family solicitor, I have seen first-hand how the emotional toll of this transition can compound the legal complexities involved. As family lawyers, our role is to guide clients through the legal aspects of divorce and separation. Working with a psychotherapist helps ensure that both parties not only manage the legal process effectively but also navigate the emotional landscape of divorce and separation, and it can be transformative.
The Emotional Reality of Divorce
Divorce is not just a legal dissolution of marriage; it is the unravelling of a shared life. This process often triggers feelings of grief, fear, anger and, sometimes, relief. Amidst these intense emotions, decision-making can become fraught and clouded. Divorce involves a profound reworking of one’s identity, sense of self and personal relationships, and psychoanalytic theory can shed light on the underlying dynamics that influence this process.
From a psychoanalytic perspective, particularly informed by the work of experts such as Avi Shmueli, a leading psychotherapist and authority on divorce and separation, the emotional turmoil of divorce goes well beyond the visible events. It delves into the unconscious processes that shape our reactions. Separation compels individuals to confront repressed aspects of themselves and their relationships. Divorce is not merely the end of a partnership; it can also represent a painful disconnection from parts of one’s former identity, shaped by the shared life of the marriage.
As therapists at CLRT often note, these feelings of loss can provoke unconscious defences such as projection or idealisation, leading to heightened conflict during the legal process. “Divorce is not only about splitting assets or drafting agreements; it is about navigating an overwhelming transition that affects identity, relationships, and family dynamics,” says Yanni Spiro, co-founder of CLRT. This emotional upheaval can cloud judgement and create tension that complicates both legal negotiations and personal healing.
The Benefits of Integrating Therapeutic Support for Families
From my legal perspective, I have observed that clients who seek therapeutic support during their divorce often feel better equipped to navigate the complexities of the process. Couples therapy is not only beneficial for rebuilding a relationship; it also plays a crucial role in supporting clients through separation by enhancing communication, an essential skill, especially when other family members, particularly children, are involved. The therapeutic space offers a safe environment where couples can express emotions, confront fears and develop healthier communication strategies, thereby supporting emotional well-being and fostering more constructive interactions during legal proceedings. CLRT offers workshops to help couples develop practical skills to address key relationship concerns such as improving communication.
The therapists at CLRT emphasise that children’s well-being is deeply tied to how parents handle the emotional and logistical aspects of their separation. Psychoanalytically, unresolved anxieties and relational conflicts between parents can profoundly affect the emotional environment for children. By working through their own emotional turmoil with therapeutic support, parents can model emotional resilience and effective communication, creating a more stable environment for their children during this difficult time. In this way, therapy helps parents co-parent more effectively whilst ensuring that children are shielded from unnecessary emotional distress.
Moving Forward with Comprehensive Care
For those going through divorce, reaching out for therapeutic support is an investment in a healthier future. The legal and emotional aspects of divorce are deeply interconnected. As both a lawyer and someone familiar with the psychoanalytic approach, I can confidently say that when clients engage both legal and therapeutic expertise, they create a holistic support system that fosters not just the resolution of their legal case but also emotional recovery and personal clarity.
Rayden Solicitors is an award-winning specialist firm of family law solicitors who advise on all aspects of family law and are experts in financial and children matters relating to relationship breakdown, divorce and separation. Our expert team provides tailored legal support to navigate the complexities of divorce with confidence.
To learn more about what legal advice is available to support you please do not hesitate to contact Sunny Rafaeli at Rayden Solicitors and for an understanding of how a couple’s psychotherapist can assist you, Yanni Spiro can be contacted by email at CLRT via this link and for more information on CLRT please visit the website here.
