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The Mind Mechanics Journey Planner

A practical 4-stage plan that will help you find the best route from relationship breakdown to the future you want.

Bottling things up is not a coping strategy, talking isn’t a sign of weakness

As hugely experienced family lawyers, Rayden Solicitors are continually helping men cope more effectively with the difficult times they’ll find themselves in during and after the breakdown of their relationship.

Our experience has taught us that if we are to provide effective support during divorce proceedings, we need to offer more than just legal services; we need to be able to show we understand the emotional toll of divorce.

To help towards that aim, we have partnered with a psychological expert.  By working together we will guide you, not only through the ending of your relationship, but also to the next chapter of your life in a positive frame of mind.

Why should you use the MM Journey Planner?

It’s often forgotten that the end of a relationship and its aftermath is just as hard for men as it is for women.  However, instead of discussing their feelings, men will all too often choose to bottle things up and may find unhelpful coping strategies.

The MM Journey Planner has been created to give men who may otherwise find it difficult to talk a really simple, practical 4-step journey plan. It helps you understand where you are today, your feelings and show you an effective route back to peak performance and onto the future you want.

Why use the MM Journey Planner?

Although the circumstances and requirements of every man we work with are different, the common factor is that everyone needs to talk through the confusion and fog of the ending of their relationship.

For any guy, having to deal with the unrelenting stress of divorce, feelings of helplessness or worse, I would strongly suggest meeting with Tarun.

Speaking with someone professional is both helpful and cathartic and of course, as I found, can be personally-tailored to one’s needs.

By working through our route plan you will:

  • Have an opportunity to talk things through in plain English with someone who can help you direct your life so it gets back on track
  • Be able to work out where you are and what you need to do in order to move your life forwards
  • Discuss what happened in your relationship so you can learn from experience, stop blaming and avoid finding yourself in the same or similar situation in the future
  • Find out more about how you work so you can find the coping mechanism best suited to you

Get your feelings out in the open so you don’t unknowingly find yourself in isolation, depression, uncontrollable anger, etc.

  • Learn from your struggles so your future relationships are better ones
  • Give you a clear, straightforward path to the future you want

The Process

Step 1: Where?

We take a good look at where you are today.  What are your immediate responsibilities?  What do you need to fulfil those responsibilities?  Do you have all of those resources to hand?

As unhappiness and even guilt takes over, it becomes more and more difficult to find functional answers to these questions on your own. We will work together to find those answers concentrating on what needs to be discussed and removing any unhelpful emotions or blame.

Step 2: Who?

In the second stage we’ll talk about who you are and who you want to be.

This will help us work out what you need to develop yourself and your ability for the next stage of your journey in a more constructive way.  This will help you reach the brighter long-term future you have pictured for yourself and your family.

Step 3: What?

We’ll discuss what happened in your marriage to help you understand and accept how things got to be irreconcilable.  We’ll also find out whether there are unhelpful patterns in your relationships that tend to repeat.

This won’t be an easy conversation but it will play a huge part in helping you come to terms with what has happened. You will construct a platform from which to make better relationship choices in the future, including with your children and wider family.

Step 4: How?

In the last stage we will recap what we’ve learnt about you during the preceding sessions and use that to set out the most direct route to the future you want.

We will use our understanding of the past to ensure your future route avoids old mistakes, ensuring you get to the future you really want.

Not ready to talk yet?

We understand what can happen if you don’t talk to someone.

When it comes to the end of a relationship there is little if anything we haven’t seen.  As a result we have learned what it takes to help men from every walk of life and from every possible set of circumstances get their lives back on track and build a brighter future.

However we also know:

  • If you don’t ask for help or see it as a sign of weakness, you are likely to isolate yourself from friends and family and that can lead to depression, anxiety, substance abuse or even suicide.
  • You don’t want touchy-feely psychobabble which is why the MM Journey Planner is designed to give you a start point, an end point and a practical, straightforward route to get you from one to the other.
  • We can’t change the outcome of your divorce; what will happen, will happen but we can help you do is look more objectively at your situation so that it doesn’t overwhelm you and stop you from moving on to the next stage of your life.
  • Isolation, substance abuse, frantically seeking for a replacement partner and denial are not viable coping strategies; we will help you find the best coping strategy for you.
  • If you keep everything bottled up, it will fester into unhelpful anger and frustration. Not only will anger delay the process of building the future you want, it can also lead to physical aggression which could well land you in legal trouble.

For all of these reasons and more, you need to talk to someone who knows exactly how to get you from where you are to where you want to be and that is the only aim of the MM Journey Planner.

Meet the team

Julian Bremner


“Julian has a great knack of deciphering subjective ramblings and putting a very succinct and objective communication together. He takes an extremely pragmatic approach based on case histories, the law, client input and data.”

Dr Tarun Pamneja

BSc (Hons), MSc, DPsych
UKCP Psychotherapist & HCPC Psychologist

Contact Us

For more information or to make an appointment with Dr Tarun, email in confidence to:

Berkhamsted: 01442 819 144
Beaconsfield: 01494 350 333
Birmingham: 0121 314 8170
Bishop’s Stortford: 01297 881371
Epping: 020 3773 3919
Hampstead: 020 3925 4809
Harpenden: 01582 803679
London Bridge: 020 3468 7202
St Albans: 01727 734 260