The summer holidays are envisaged as long summer days in the sunshine having fun when in reality it can turn into a logistical minefield arranging childcare, holidays as well as balancing work commitments. For co-parents this can also bring heightened intensity and anxiety.
Instead of co parents becoming fixated on “my time” with the children, the secret to a peaceful and planned summer is flexibility and a shift in mindset to “our children’s summer” working together to create a plan for the holiday period.
Tips to a planned and friction-free summer;
- Plan Ahead – in good time prior to the summer holidays and even at the start of each academic year, decide which parent the children will be spending time with on half terms and the summer holidays. Consider any pre-booked trips or specific weeks you are able to take leave from work between you. Early communication and planning is key.
- Organise Passport Handover and Travel Consent – do not wait until the last minute to obtain the children’s Passports from the other parent. Plan and agree when the Passports should be handed over in advance of the holiday and then returned. Any parent with Parental Responsibility needs to provide consent for their children leaving England and Wales even for a short holiday. Therefore consider preparing a signed letter of consent to travel ahead of each holiday.
- Identify Gaps where Childcare is Needed and agree the provision and the funding of those days. This will prevent any last-minute scrambling for childcare and holiday camps.
- Plan Stress Free Handovers – plan in a neutral and public place, such as the park, for handovers if tension exists. Keep the transitions brief and focus solely on the children.
- Use a Shared Calendar or Parenting App – record the holidays and childcare arrangements in a shared calendar or parenting app so each parent is clear on where the children are and where they need to be on chosen dates.
- Be Flexible – it is often the case that parents get focused on equal time spent with the children. Be flexible where possible with dates and travel times for example. Allowing the children time to transition from one home to the other.
- Agree “Screen Time” – if possible, set the same rules and boundaries regarding technology and screen time so the rules are aligned.
- Avoid the Competition Trap – avoid competing with the other parent regarding activities and holidays with the children. It is not about who can take the children on the most extravagant holiday. Involve the children and ask for their input into what activities they would like to do over the summer.
Following the above tips can bring a planned and stress-free summer. It helps communication between parents and can improve the co-parenting relationship for the benefit of the children.
Despite the planning and flexibility there may still be tension between parents. It is important to focus on the children and their needs, rather than your time with the child. If there are disagreements, clam and focused discussions need to take place focusing on the parts that are not agreed, and how they can be changed to satisfy both parents.
If you are finding it hard to navigate the arrangements for the children, it might be time to get legal advice and assistance in making a plan with an ex-partner and dealing with travel consent. Please contact Rayden Solicitors to discuss your situation in confidence.
